Friday, November 15, 2013

You mean the most EXPENSIVE show on earth

The circus is in town.  Like, the real circus, not just my children and their crazy nonsense.

The show is all about building crap, and has a lot of animals and songs and whatnot and seems like something my guys would enjoy.  My Husband suggested we go.  I agreed.

I sit myself down to investigate the situation.

Here's pretty much how it went down:

Ah yes, there are times and days that work for us.  Lovely.  Let me just see what kind of tickets are available... Clickity-click on this here link.

TicketMaster. Ugh. You are a bitch, but I suppose these are the things you must put up with to see the circus.

Hmmmm, no prices listed.  Figures.

What the shit?  No kids' tickets?  ALL full price?  What kind of FAMILY EVENT doesn't offer kids' tickets? (to be fair, My Little Guy technically doesn't need a ticket since he's under 2, but much like air travel we always buy him a seat since it makes everyone's lives easier)  Oooh, TicketMaster, you are evil.  Fine, fine. I shall press on.

Best available I guess?

What. In. All. The. Fucking. Hell.

I have to watch an add for Swiffer (which, dude I love Swiffer, best customer service EVER) in order to get my "I'm not a robot" phrase???

What JACKASS set that up? This is the worst company ever. Fuck you TicketMaster.

Fine. Fine. "Dusting!"

That's not the phrase?  Fuck you TicketMaster!

Fine.  Fine. "Better than a mop"  God, this is ridiculous.

HOLY HELL! Four Lower Level seats cost $280????  Who the hell goes to the circus?  Who the hell coughs this up??? What the FUCK??

*At this point I nearly passed out from shock at the cost of these tickets*

This is insane.  INSANE.  There have got to be cheaper tickets.

Ok, nosebleed section... Will the kids even care what's going on if we're that far away?  Meh, let's see what the damage would be.  Maybe it'd be cheap enough that it'd be ok.

CHRIST!  Even that's $160 for four tickets!!!  That's highway robbery!  Do you get to take one of the animals home with you?  For these prices you better.

Guess we're not going to the circus.  Saaaaaaaaaad.

(Note: I would be more willing to drop the $160 if my kids were older, but to spend that kind of money when they're as young as they are is a gamble - I have no idea if they'll be into this, or if I'll just be flushing $160 down the toilet.)

Then I remembered that my mom forwarded me a link to some Groupon-like site she belongs to that had circus tickets. Huzzah! Huzzah I say!  They had tickets at less than half price, so now we are going because the prices have entered the land of reality.

What really kills me here is that this is supposed to be a FAMILY EVENT.  And yet it seems that the circus and of course, the devil, I mean, TicketMaster makes it as difficult as possible for families to do that.  The best seats in the house were over $100 each.  The shitty seats were $35+ each.  Then you get there and you get to pay a fortune for gross food, and crappy merchandise.  Or you have to explain to your kid why he/she can't have that cool light up toy or box of $9 popcorn.

I'm pretty damn cheap, but I'm willing to spend some decent money on something that'll make my kids happy.  This is insane though.  A family night out to a family event shouldn't run you $500, but at the end of the day that's what you'd end up spending if you paid full price to go to the circus.  That's terrible.

The making me watch a commercial for the "I'm not a robot" phrase thing was really overkill too.  I pretty much yelled out "TicketMasterrrrrrrrrrrr!" all "Khhhhhhaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn!" Star Trek style.  I think that was the most offensive thing I've experienced in awhile. Asshats.

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