And now folks, it's time for a rant.
I recently set up a Facebook event to try to organize some fun times with our group of friends. I was looking for a date that worked well for everyone, so I attempted to start a discussion about what worked best for everyone so I could call and make reservations for our group. In order to book the most economical package, we needed at least 10 people. I figured this would be easy, since people normally like fun events and we were open to ANY Saturday in October for making it happen. This couldn't be easier, right?
Because somehow, it's now acceptable to reply "maybe" or hell, not even at all to an invitation.
I had a few upstanding friends reply right away, but the majority of the band of idiots I associate with couldn't be bothered to even acknowledge my event. They couldn't be bothered to take a minute to look at a calendar, see if they were free and click a "yes" or "no".
That's fine, now none of us get to go have a good time.
You know, I used to throw holiday parties. Mainly Halloween and New Years. I eventually stopped because it'd be a couple days before the party and no one would have told me if they're coming or not. I'd have no idea if I'd have to cook/order food for 5 or 15 or hell, 25 people. Because I guess having manners, and RSVPing to an event you're invited to just is just too damn difficult. Because somehow it's become ok to just, not reply to invitations. Because being rude is ok now. Because making a decision about an event in a timely manner requires too much effort.
I got sick of hounding our friends, and nagging them about if they're coming or not. So I just decided, fuck it. These parties aren't worth the stress and hassle that is required just to get an answer out of people about if they're coming or not. You want to be rude and lazy? That's fine, no parties for you.
Being invited to something is an honor. Your host works hard to make an event go smoothly and ensure that their guests have a good time and are well fed. There is time and money involved in hosting an event, and to not acknowledge or appreciate that is just plain fucking rude. Deciding if you can attend an event takes a hell of a lot less time than planning one, so have some manners and tell your host what you're doing.
Of all the stupid nonsense Facebook is responsible for in the world, I personally hate this the most. With their fucking "maybe" reply on events they have made it an acceptable response to an event. From the dreaded "maybe", we have fallen even further from good manners to not even replying and having that be ok. It's become ok to be rude and lazy. It's ok to ignore any semblance of manners and ignore invitations.
Here, I'll break it down for you since apparently I'm one of the few people who still gets this.
1) If you are invited to an event, you should RSVP as soon as possible. I thought this was a "no duh" but congratulations, you have proved me wrong.
2) If you ARE able to attend, say so. If your situation changes, and you are no longer able to attend tell the host as soon as possible. Apologize for the change in plans, as your host has spent time and money counting on your presence. To no call - no show is rude. Apparently that needs to be explained.
3) If you ARE NOT able to attend, say so. Send your regrets as soon as you know that for whatever reason you have (and frankly, I don't give a shit what it is, if it's supposed to be cloudy and that upsets your delicate sensibilities fine, just fucking tell me) you cannot attend. Your host is planning on providing you with food and entertainment and once again, if you're not coming that affects the cost and scale of the event and that information is important to the host. Once again, if your situation changes and you are able to attend, tell the host as soon as possible and ask if it's ok to still come (if it's me hosting, I'll tell you of course, and thank you for letting me know to up my food prep). To just show up after you've said no is rude. Again, apparently that has to be explained. And if you just show up without telling the host that you're coming now, don't be surprised if you don't get to eat (impossible at my events - as someone who is Polish and Greek and married into an Italian family I don't consider it "enough" food unless I can feed three times my expected guest list) as your host has not planned on your presence.
4) If you are uncertain about your ability to go, communicate that to the host and give odds on whether or not you'll make it so that they might plan the food/supplies/reservations accordingly. Tell the host AS SOON AS POSSIBLE once your plans are confirmed. To just reply "maybe" and leave it at that is rude. Again, amazed I have to explain this.
Got it? Great. Now next time I attempt to host something I expect better of everyone.