Obviously I have two boys. Our house is full of blocks and trucks and cars and trains. My guys are completely obsessed with anything that has wheels and/or a motor. I find it fascinating that (especially with my oldest) we did nothing to encourage this fascination, it just happened.
We parent with the mindset that all toys are for all kids - doesn't matter if it's pink (My Big Guy has a pink sippy cup that he loves and picked out himself), or blue or a doll or a train. If my guys asked for a toy out of the girl aisle at Target that's fine, we'd totally get it for them.
I was a tomboy growing up, my favorite toys were my Matchbox Cars and my My Little Ponies. I was lucky to have parents who let me play with whatever I wanted, and that probably helped instill in me my belief that all toys are for all kids, regardless of what gender they're designed for.
My guys have not one, but two kitchen sets (you really can't say no to a $15 kitchen, complete with food at a garage sale), and they routinely make me food and do the dishes afterward. They love it. A kitchen set might be considered a "girl toy" but fuck that noise, if my kids like it they can play with it.
Even with this attitude my guys lean more towards "boy" toys. The cars, the trucks, the trains... That's just what they're into and that's fine.
Having boys, I never really gave thought to the subtext of toys for girls until recently. Hell, I never even really went down the girl aisles at Target. That stuff just isn't what my kids were into right now.
Just this week we did venture into Girl Land in search of a birthday present for a friend. She's turning three, and is into baby dolls. Fine, great, I can do that.
I was really surprised to see how PINK the girl aisles are. It was overwhelming really. Very different from the boy aisles which have a rainbow of colors (granted, not really pink, but still, more than one color). There also seemed to be no variety - all the toys were like purses or dolls or stuffed animals. In the boy aisles you have trains and cars and trucks (although to a mom of girls I can see where those all might seem the same, so who knows) and action figures and blocks and guns and stuff to build and make towers or buildings. There's an unstated message that your boys can have varied interests, whereas in the girl aisle it was pretty much pink dolls or bust.
With boys it's easy. There's no message to a toy train. There's no subtext. It's a train. It's choo-choo's down the track and, at least in our house, crashes off the track into a car and BOOM!
Venturing into the girl aisle I get it now. There is subtext to girl toys. The toys are all about cooking, or being pretty, or taking care of a baby or dressing up like a princess... Don't try to create, or build, or make something - just be pretty and take care of something/someone. If you do want to do something creative, or make something let's make a purse, or jewelry! It's crazy to me. I honestly had no idea because again, we're too stuck in boy world at the moment. Although perhaps we won't be for much longer...
What ended up happening with our baby doll purchase is that My Little Guy, who was with me, fell in love with the dolls. He kept trying to love the doll and take her out of her box and he kept yelling "Baby! Baby! Baby!" Ok, I get it. I think a trip back to Target to get him a baby doll is in order. He wants to take care of a baby, that's fine, he can do that. He's also less likely to kill himself playing with a baby doll, so that's a bonus for me.
I can see now how parents of girls really struggle with the why's of it. Why do they have to make pink and purple blocks for girls? Why can't they just play with the primary color ones (are bright colors only for boys now?) Why does everything for girls have to be sparkly or have a princess on it? Why does there have to be a "girl" version of every toy? Why can't boys and girls play with the same toys? Why can't all toys just be toys - for all kids, not separated by gender? Let's let our kids play with whatever they want and not try to steer them towards toys deemed appropriate for their gender. Boys can love cooking and dolls and girls can love cars and trains.
What's really strange to me is that I don't remember it being like this when I was a kid. Legos were Legos. there weren't girly colored ones. They were 100% gender neutral. There weren't two versions (a boy and a girl version) of every toy like there are today.
We're going backwards.
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