Thursday, September 26, 2013

Mind Your Own Damn Business: Part Deux

I've noticed a disturbing trend in the news lately.  It's the whole, "A neighbor called the authorities" thing.  Who are these people who do this?  We actually experienced it here awhile ago, but I didn't really think much of it other than it was annoying.

We were unloading the kids out of the car, and My Big Guy wanted to "drive" while we got My Little Guy ready for bed.  We do this on occassion - let him hang out in the car for a bit (without the keys of course) and he pretends to drive and pushes all the buttons and turns on my emergency lights.  A good time is had by all.  Once he decides he's done "driving" he comes back in the house and we move on with our lives.  Sometimes he leaves the lights on, but luckily my car has that thing where it won't let the battery die if the lights are left on so we don't worry about it too much.

Apparently the neighbors DO worry about it.

They called the cops to report that "some light was flashing in our garage".  Seriously.  They didn't come over, and ring our doorbell and kindly let us know that the emergency lights were left on on our car.  Nope, they called the damn police.  The cop came to our house at 10:00 at night, and my husband had to show him ID to prove that we do in fact live here while I turned the flashers off my car.

This is a lesser version of what you see in the news lately.  A kid was walking by himself, and a neighbor called the cops because he was alone.  Kids were playing in the street so a neighbor called the cops on them.  Kids are doing some pretty innocent thing and a neighbor is "concerned" and calls the authorities.

I just don't get it.  And it totally creeps me out more than anything that the kids might be doing.  I have this image of some random neighbor peeking through the drapes and being appalled that kids are, well, being kids and calling the cops on them.  Then the neighbor watches the cops  come, smiles smugly to themselves and walks away feeling good that they prevented... who knows what.  It's creepy.  And it scares the hell out of me that my neighbors (or anyone else) would be creeping on my kids and I while we're outside.

It's creepier than Big Brother to me because these are people in my community, my neighbors.  We're supposed to all be in this together and be friendly to each other.  Calling the cops is not friendly.  It's a complete over-reaction and makes me concerned that they'll be called again based on how I want to raise my kids.

We live on the corner, so our backyard is pretty visible to the public.  I worry that when we let My Big Guy go out there by himself (in his own yard!) someone will see him, think he's too young to be alone (which in society is probably anything under 9 at this point) and call the cops, or CPS or something.  That's what scares me more than anything that might happen to my kid.  And that's messed up.

Mind your own damn business people.  And if you have concerns about me or my kids, come over and TALK to me.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I'm back bitches!

It has been a very busy summer here in SnarkLand.

We went on a two week vacation that was amazingly relaxing, and as a bonus both of our boys got even more comfortable swimming and being in a pool.  My Big Guy was swimming back and forth in the lap lanes by the time we left.  We are lucky enough to have access to a house in Palm Springs, CA so it makes the vacation easier staying somewhere we've been a bunch of times and that has a full kitchen, and of course, laundry.

Traveling with two under 3 was an adventure, but totally worth it to enjoy the time away.  At the end of the day, yes, it was 8 hours of flying hell but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to watch my boys fall in love with the pool.  Our BFF's came with us, and we had other close friends meet us there and basically it was everything you could ask for in a vacation and more.

Then My Big Guy started real preschool in the three year old room and swim lessons and I started yoga and these obstacle races and blogging took a backseat to LIFE.  These things happen.  Let's catch up.  Let me explain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up. (reference anyone??)  Our summer.  Bullet points to the rescue!

  • While allowing My Big Guy to walk "by himself" the one block from our house to my MIL's house, he was stopped no less than 3 times by strangers who thought he was in danger.  My husband was about 20 feet behind him and he was fine.  It's one block.  One.  Block.  I know these people meant well, but seriously?  I might stop and ask the kid if he's ok, if he says yes I move on with my life.  These people did not.  Feel free to helicopter your kid, leave mine the hell alone.
  • My Big Guy started real preschool.  No.  I do not like this.  He's turning three this weekend.  Wtf?  When did this happen?  He's like, a real person and it's insane and awesome and it breaks my heart that he's growing up so fast.  He loves it.  Absolutely loves it and gets upset when he has to leave.  I love that he loves it there and is so happy and secure there.
  • We finished up our speech therapy from EI.  I cannot put into words how grateful I am to the amazing speech therapist who got My Big Guy talking.  He was 2.5 and could barely say a two syllable word. Now he's talking in full sentences and naming dinosaurs ("This is brontosaurus!").  It's been amazing, and life changing for everyone and I will be forever grateful to her for making his life better.  
  • The dickwad across the street continues to get all up in our shit at every opportunity.  Yesterday he was chatting with the people bidding on the house next door (he's a realtor) and decided the best place to do this is on our driveway.  Not his driveway, or the one of the house they're looking at, but ours.  And then when I walked out to shoo them away he felt the need to make some comment like, "Isn't it great that I get to handpick our neighbors?"  Ewwwwwww.  Bllllleeeeeeeccccccchhhhhh.  Man, I hate that guy.
  • I'm gonna go ahead and be a bitch here on this one... I've started doing these obstacle races with my BFF and ok, seriously, if you're going to sign up for a mud run, or an obstacle race maybe you should, you know, do the stuff?  If you're like a 300 lb woman, for realz, what are you thinking?  You think at 300 lbs you can climb up a wall?  That's not even the worst offender in my book.  That honor goes to the chicks who sign up for the mud run and then get all grossed out about getting mud on them.  Wtf did you just pay like $50 for?  Getting muddy is the whole point!  
  • I'm running these obstacle races and I'm still fat.  Screw you being over 30.  Screw.  You.
  • The most irritating thing about being a parent for me is meal time.  Damn kids and their needing to eat, which means I need to prepare them meals and clean them up.  Ugh, it's just so time consuming and annoying.  I mean, obviously I do it, but still.  UGH.
Speaking of meals, time to clean one up!  Hooray!  Ugh.