Why I'm a Bad Mother... Today

So there's this.

http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2013/11/city-of-ottawa-public-health-units-informed-consent-webpage-a-case-study-in-uninformed-consent/#comment-9474

http://ottawa.ca/en/residents/public-health/pregnancy-and-babies/make-informed-decision-about-feeding-your-baby

I just love lies and exaggerations, don't you?  I just love when some random town somewhere decides I'm a bad mom.  Lovely.

Ugh.

You know, it has a point though.  Since I formula fed (FF) my kids, we're not close at all, and I find the need to distance myself from them as much as possible.  I hate snuggling them, I hate cuddling them, and I hate showing them any sort of affection.  If only I had breastfed... Then I'm sure we'd have a magical relationship. It's the only way to get one you know.  Same goes for all the family members and friends who are in their lives - they fed my boys, but they made sure to do with as little affection as possible.  That's the best way to bottle feed, obviously.

Oh, my poor brittle bones.  They're really acting up as I sit in my chair typing.  I'd get up, but the extra fat I failed to lose from not BF-ing is just weighing me down.  Otherwise I'd be up checking to make sure that my kids' jaws aren't developing correctly.

I suppose I should get up, and go stand and admire the $300+ breast pump and accesories I got in my BF-ing attempts.  It's just so much cheaper than FF-ing.  And less time consuming.  Having a human being attached to your body for hours at a time isn't draining at all.  And pumping, well, everyone just LOVES doing that right?

I need to start planning our meals for tomorrow too - what poison should I feed my kids?  How can I make sure to prepare it improperly this time?

Maybe I should look into starting a hobby, as a FFer I definitely didn't have time to engage in one, I was WAY too busy pouring the poison into bottles that I cleaned in the toilet.  That's clean water, right?

I mean seriously.  What the fuck.

Is that really what people think FFers do?  Do they think that we, what?  Hate our kids?  Are just stupid?  Are we lazy?  What?  I don't get it.

Can't we just all agree that we're doing what's best for US and let it be?  I'm lucky that my hospital isn't this crazy.  They're all about letting you decide what's best for you - no judgement.  Or at least no open judgement.  The nurses might be leaving the rooms and talking some serious shit, but as long as it's behind my back that's cool in my book.

If my hospital started to get in my shit about what I'm feeding my kid... Well.  Frankly I don't know what I'd do but I doubt it'd be very civilized.  It's just no one's business but my family's.

I'm all for encouraging someone to try something, but if they don't want to, don't force them.  You'll get a much higher success rate at whatever it is you're trying to accomplish with words of encouragement and understanding than rules and regulations and forcing someone.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go force feed my children some sugar.  It kills two birds with one stone - tooth decay AND childhood obesity!