Introverted Parenting

So I stumbled upon this article:

http://www.rolereboot.org/family/details/2012-07-why-introverts-fail-at-attachment-parenting

I found it very interesting because I am 100% an introvert.  I have my select group of people that I'm comfortable with and can relax with but being around "new" people stresses me out.  I NEED alone time.  I NEED quiet time.  I'm introverted, and that's that.

So how does this affect parenting?  Well, first of all, I think "fail" is a poor choice of words in the above article.  I think introverts would naturally steer clear of Attachment Parenting (AP).  I know I sure did.  The thought of constantly wearing my baby, or having my kid sleep in my bed, or even breastfeeding puts me on edge.  I need my space to function as a good parent.  That doesn't mean I love my kids less than an AP parent does, it just means that AP wouldn't work for me.

When I first had My Big Guy I thought I'd breastfeed.  Well that didn't exactly go according to plan after a hospital stay, a magnesium treatment, and blood pressure meds.  With My Little Guy I figured I'd try it again.  Turns out I hated it.  I can't emphasize that enough.  I.  Hated.  It.  I was that mom who would cry when her baby cried because she knew she'd have to breastfeed him.  I felt trapped.  It wasn't this amazing bonding experience for us, it something that we both suffered through.  He was miserable and I was miserable and no one was having a good time.  My Big Guy was suffering too - I eventually gave up trying to feed My Little Guy from the boob and started pumping and all that time spent pumping was time spent ignoring My Big Guy.

At the time I didn't realize WHY breastfeeding was so awful for me, but after reading this article I get it.  I'm introverted and all that closeness was too much for me.  I need my space.  I need to be able to have someone else feed the baby from time to time.  I need to not be touched sometimes.  That's what I need to be a good mom to both my kids.  It doesn't mean I don't love them, or that I ignore their cries, or I don't want hugs and kisses and snuggles from them.  It just means that at the end of the day I need some time to myself to not be touched and sit in a nice quiet room to recharge my batteries.  It means that AP techniques tend to make me feel trapped.  I wonder if other introverts feel the same way?

Gradually I figured out what kind of parenting style I wanted to use, and as I have posted before (http://snarkymommablog.blogspot.com/2013/05/freedom.html) I realized I'm a Free Range Parent.  Free Ranging works so much better for me as an introvert, and for my kids.  I wonder if other introverts feel similarly while extroverts find themselves leaning more towards AP?  Do Free Range Parents tend to be more introverted while AP parents tend to be more extroverted?

If/when we have more kids, I know now that as an introvert AP techniques will just not work for me.  I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I need space and quiet to be the best mom I can be for them.  And that's what's really the most important thing.