Know better...

I was reading a post last night about car seat safety, and was fully on board and in agreement with everything this mom was saying (I can be a bit of a car seat safety Nazi myself, we all have our flaws), until the end. She  ended her informative, cleverly written post with "Know better, do better".

...

People. There are few things that get me all riled up more than that phrase. Frankly, it makes me want to slap the person saying it. It comes off as smug, arrogant and makes you sound like a know it all.

Instead of having the attitude of "Hey, I learned this stuff and thought other parents might want to know it to help keep their kids safe" it turns it into, "I know how to keep MY children safe, and I deign to impart my wisdom on you, so that you can be a better parent - like me".  Just shut up at that point. You might have helpful information, but no one wants helpful information with a side a judgement and arrogance.

Do you think that parents were unaware of the information you're providing them? Ok, then inform them. Help them. Don't make them feel like they're shitty parents in comparison to you because they didn't know whatever the hell wisdom it is you're sharing with the world.

Better yet - share that hey, you didn't know this either and thought other parents might find the information useful. Parenting has a learning curve, we're all figuring stuff out as we go and we're all learning new things all the time. Sharing the things we learn is great - sharing your holier than thou attitude is not.

Because I can be a contrary bitch, when I read your "know better, do better" I think to myself, "No! Fuck off! I do what I want!" and your information is somewhat lost on me. While I will admit that being a contrary bitch is somewhat of a personality flaw on my part, I am also aware that there are many other contrary bitches out there in the world who might react the same way.

Look, all I'm saying is cut the crappy judgement out. There's more than enough of it in the parenting world, let's not incorporate it into the ways we share newly learned parenting information too.