Saturday, October 12, 2013

Shut It Up Bitch

So for realz people, for realz.  We were at the zoo the other day, rocking it out in our double stroller, minding our damn business when some bitch felt the need to start shit.

First of all, yeah, I rock a double stroller with my two kids who are 3 and 1.5.  My Big Guy gets tired and likes to ride from time to time, and when I'm on the zone defense it makes it easier to have at least ONE of them strapped down and unable to run off.  My Little Guy is also my Little Daredevil and will totally attempt to climb into some animal's habitat place if left alone.  No fear in that one.  Plus it hauls all my crap so well.  We enjoyed a nice zoo picnic and the double stroller carried all the remnants of it, including the gross blankey we ate on (have you ever seen two small boys eat?  It ain't pretty).

Because it is October, and in theory it's fall (bless you global warming and your 80+ degree days in Chicagoland) the zoo wisely (*scoffing noises*) decided to close the majority of its food stands.  Because my weirdo kids won't drink anything but milk, this meant I had to brave the crowds at the main restaurant.  Have you ever stood in a line for 10 minutes just to get 4 tiny little containers of milk while your children are restrained in their double stroller 10 feet away with people gasping and glaring at you for NOT taking up the entire line area with the massive ride for the kids?  It's a wee bit stressful.  Let's just say I was a touch on edge there.

So then.  Oh then..

I'm filling up sippy cups with the nectar of the gods (2% milk), and some bitch walks by with her mom.  She's got like a 3 year old, and a baby who's maybe 5 months old.  She's also got grandma with her.  Grandma points out that hey, we have a double stroller and look how nice it is (Chicco Together in red, thank you very much).  Then, as mommy is walking past us, while glancing at us in disdain says, "Ugh.  I hate when people bring a double stroller to the zoo, it's so rude."

...

Oh yes.  She did.

I may or may not have slightly lost my cool and glared at her while saying, "Yeah, well, it's great that you have help but when you're on your own let's see what you do.  Fuck off."

Oops?

Perhaps telling another mom to "fuck off" wasn't the best idea, I'll admit that.  But! BUT!  C'mon now.  If you really have a problem with strollers maybe you shouldn't go to THE ZOO.  It's not like I was the only "rude" one there disturbing her world with my massive stroller - I was merely one of many.  Lots of people have kids close in age and need to tie them down for everyone's safety.  Sure, I get annoyed when people demonstrate poor stroller etiquette (http://snarkymommablog.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-lesson-in-stroller-etiquette.html), but I don't HATE that they've decided to bring a stroller to the zoo.  I just wish they'd pull over to make sure precious is wearing the proper amount of layers for the 75 degree day rather than do it in the middle of the path.

It's the zoo bitch.  It's full of families, and kids, and strollers.  If they offend you THAT MUCH don't come.  And don't you dare pass judgement on me for doing what I think is best for my family when you have the luxury of being on the man defense.

At the end of the day that's what gets me - the judgement . Look, I don't care if you breastfeed your kid til he's in high school, wear him until he's 7, cloth diaper (I'm actually considering this for any future children - who am I???), or do any of that crunchy stuff that's just not for me.  Is your kid happy?  Is your kid healthy? Cool.  It's not for me, but clearly it's working for you and your family.  That doesn't make you better than me, and it doesn't make me better than you.  If you want to bring grandma to the zoo and schlep your crap all over more power to you - don't think it makes you better than me for pushing the equivalent of a stroller Hummer through the zoo.  You're doing what you gotta do, I'm doing what I gotta do.  My kids are happy, your kids are happy.  Let's move on with our lives.

The judgement just kills me.  There are few things you can do that will make me think I am legitimately better than you, otherwise I'm just guessing you're doing what you think is best for you and your family.  I don't know you, you don't know me, let's just assume we're all doing our best here.  More over, I don't CARE.  I don't CARE what you're doing until it affects me.  When you decide to walk by me and imply that I'm being rude by caring for my children in what I consider the best way for us, you're affecting me.  It's not only my parenting philosophy, but my general life one.  I won't get up all in your shit, stay out of mine.  And seriously, if you DO want to get up in my shit, do it for real - don't just make a comment as you walk by and expect nothing to happen.

I won't lie, I did love the look of shock on her face.  I think she thought I'd just hang my head in shame, feeling inadequate with my double stroller and maybe, just maybe think about somehow hauling all our crap and wrangling my children without it to the zoo.

She clearly didn't know who she was messing with, did she?

:)

No comments:

Post a Comment