I've noticed a disturbing trend in the news lately. It's the whole, "A neighbor called the authorities" thing. Who are these people who do this? We actually experienced it here awhile ago, but I didn't really think much of it other than it was annoying.
We were unloading the kids out of the car, and My Big Guy wanted to "drive" while we got My Little Guy ready for bed. We do this on occassion - let him hang out in the car for a bit (without the keys of course) and he pretends to drive and pushes all the buttons and turns on my emergency lights. A good time is had by all. Once he decides he's done "driving" he comes back in the house and we move on with our lives. Sometimes he leaves the lights on, but luckily my car has that thing where it won't let the battery die if the lights are left on so we don't worry about it too much.
Apparently the neighbors DO worry about it.
They called the cops to report that "some light was flashing in our garage". Seriously. They didn't come over, and ring our doorbell and kindly let us know that the emergency lights were left on on our car. Nope, they called the damn police. The cop came to our house at 10:00 at night, and my husband had to show him ID to prove that we do in fact live here while I turned the flashers off my car.
This is a lesser version of what you see in the news lately. A kid was walking by himself, and a neighbor called the cops because he was alone. Kids were playing in the street so a neighbor called the cops on them. Kids are doing some pretty innocent thing and a neighbor is "concerned" and calls the authorities.
I just don't get it. And it totally creeps me out more than anything that the kids might be doing. I have this image of some random neighbor peeking through the drapes and being appalled that kids are, well, being kids and calling the cops on them. Then the neighbor watches the cops come, smiles smugly to themselves and walks away feeling good that they prevented... who knows what. It's creepy. And it scares the hell out of me that my neighbors (or anyone else) would be creeping on my kids and I while we're outside.
It's creepier than Big Brother to me because these are people in my community, my neighbors. We're supposed to all be in this together and be friendly to each other. Calling the cops is not friendly. It's a complete over-reaction and makes me concerned that they'll be called again based on how I want to raise my kids.
We live on the corner, so our backyard is pretty visible to the public. I worry that when we let My Big Guy go out there by himself (in his own yard!) someone will see him, think he's too young to be alone (which in society is probably anything under 9 at this point) and call the cops, or CPS or something. That's what scares me more than anything that might happen to my kid. And that's messed up.
Mind your own damn business people. And if you have concerns about me or my kids, come over and TALK to me.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
I'm back bitches!
It has been a very busy summer here in SnarkLand.
We went on a two week vacation that was amazingly relaxing, and as a bonus both of our boys got even more comfortable swimming and being in a pool. My Big Guy was swimming back and forth in the lap lanes by the time we left. We are lucky enough to have access to a house in Palm Springs, CA so it makes the vacation easier staying somewhere we've been a bunch of times and that has a full kitchen, and of course, laundry.
Traveling with two under 3 was an adventure, but totally worth it to enjoy the time away. At the end of the day, yes, it was 8 hours of flying hell but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to watch my boys fall in love with the pool. Our BFF's came with us, and we had other close friends meet us there and basically it was everything you could ask for in a vacation and more.
Then My Big Guy started real preschool in the three year old room and swim lessons and I started yoga and these obstacle races and blogging took a backseat to LIFE. These things happen. Let's catch up. Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (reference anyone??) Our summer. Bullet points to the rescue!
We went on a two week vacation that was amazingly relaxing, and as a bonus both of our boys got even more comfortable swimming and being in a pool. My Big Guy was swimming back and forth in the lap lanes by the time we left. We are lucky enough to have access to a house in Palm Springs, CA so it makes the vacation easier staying somewhere we've been a bunch of times and that has a full kitchen, and of course, laundry.
Traveling with two under 3 was an adventure, but totally worth it to enjoy the time away. At the end of the day, yes, it was 8 hours of flying hell but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to watch my boys fall in love with the pool. Our BFF's came with us, and we had other close friends meet us there and basically it was everything you could ask for in a vacation and more.
Then My Big Guy started real preschool in the three year old room and swim lessons and I started yoga and these obstacle races and blogging took a backseat to LIFE. These things happen. Let's catch up. Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. (reference anyone??) Our summer. Bullet points to the rescue!
- While allowing My Big Guy to walk "by himself" the one block from our house to my MIL's house, he was stopped no less than 3 times by strangers who thought he was in danger. My husband was about 20 feet behind him and he was fine. It's one block. One. Block. I know these people meant well, but seriously? I might stop and ask the kid if he's ok, if he says yes I move on with my life. These people did not. Feel free to helicopter your kid, leave mine the hell alone.
- My Big Guy started real preschool. No. I do not like this. He's turning three this weekend. Wtf? When did this happen? He's like, a real person and it's insane and awesome and it breaks my heart that he's growing up so fast. He loves it. Absolutely loves it and gets upset when he has to leave. I love that he loves it there and is so happy and secure there.
- We finished up our speech therapy from EI. I cannot put into words how grateful I am to the amazing speech therapist who got My Big Guy talking. He was 2.5 and could barely say a two syllable word. Now he's talking in full sentences and naming dinosaurs ("This is brontosaurus!"). It's been amazing, and life changing for everyone and I will be forever grateful to her for making his life better.
- The dickwad across the street continues to get all up in our shit at every opportunity. Yesterday he was chatting with the people bidding on the house next door (he's a realtor) and decided the best place to do this is on our driveway. Not his driveway, or the one of the house they're looking at, but ours. And then when I walked out to shoo them away he felt the need to make some comment like, "Isn't it great that I get to handpick our neighbors?" Ewwwwwww. Bllllleeeeeeeccccccchhhhhh. Man, I hate that guy.
- I'm gonna go ahead and be a bitch here on this one... I've started doing these obstacle races with my BFF and ok, seriously, if you're going to sign up for a mud run, or an obstacle race maybe you should, you know, do the stuff? If you're like a 300 lb woman, for realz, what are you thinking? You think at 300 lbs you can climb up a wall? That's not even the worst offender in my book. That honor goes to the chicks who sign up for the mud run and then get all grossed out about getting mud on them. Wtf did you just pay like $50 for? Getting muddy is the whole point!
- I'm running these obstacle races and I'm still fat. Screw you being over 30. Screw. You.
- The most irritating thing about being a parent for me is meal time. Damn kids and their needing to eat, which means I need to prepare them meals and clean them up. Ugh, it's just so time consuming and annoying. I mean, obviously I do it, but still. UGH.
Speaking of meals, time to clean one up! Hooray! Ugh.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Breast Feeding Week
So it's world breast feeding week.
I completely, 100% support and respect women who breast feed. I firmly believe you should be able to feed your baby however, and wherever you want/need to without judgement. I also understand that "breast is best". I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to breast feed at all. If that's the right choice for you and your family, that's great. Go for it. You do what you gotta do to feed that baby.
That all being said, as a mom who chose to formula feed her children, I find this whole "Breast feeding week" thing insulting,
Having an entire week dedicated to supporting breast feeding moms is great. However, what about those of us who didn't/don't breast feed? Where's our week? Where's our support? Where are the hoards of angry women having "feed-ins" in stores or parks or wherever after someone tells us we're killing our children by feeding them formula? Where are the proud pictures of moms feeding their kids with a bottle on facebook? Where is the recognition that we are good parents too?
Yes, we all know "breast is best", except when it's not. It's not the best for some moms, and I was one of them. This is just another slap in the face on how we're not giving our children the best available option. And to take it even further in some cases - causing our children to grow up being obese morons who are a burden on society. Ridiculous. We shouldn't be ostracized or treated like horrible parents for making a decision based on what is best for us, and our families. Just because we formula feed doesn't mean we don't love our children. In fact, in some cases (like mine) formula feeding allowed us to love our children MORE. Shocking, since the only real way to bond with a baby is to breast feed. Somehow I managed to develop a closeness and a bond with both my boys, even though I formula fed them. In fact, our bond grew stronger once the decision to give up breast feeding was made. Where's my recognition for that? Where's the "You made the best decision for your family" week?
I've seen things online recently offering free products and whatnot to breast feeding moms. Great! Let's help out moms, and families in general. This whole parenting thing is tough, and free stuff is always great. But what about me and my family? Do I get a free feeding pillow? Do you realize that some of us hold and snuggle our babies on a feeding pillow while bottle feeding them? Did you think that all formula feeders just throw a bottle in the crib with the baby and hope for the best? Some of us decided to formula feed BECAUSE we love our babies and want what's best for them, but according to society we're monsters who are slowly poisoning our children by choice, which is ridiculous.
It's insulting to me that an entire week is dedicated to just one aspect of parenting, especially such a divisive one. Parenting is hard. Parenting requires support. Parenting deserves an entire month dedicated to it. It's great that people are recognizing and supporting breast feeding moms, but what about the rest of us? How about a week, or a month to recognize parents in general for loving our kids and doing what we think is best for them? How about recognizing all the formula feeding dads who get up in the middle of the night to pitch in with feedings and then go to work the next day on 3 hours of sleep?
When I first made the decision to stop breast feeding My Little Guy I felt horrible (it was different for My Big Guy - he was formula fed because I was hospitalized right after his birth and couldn't breast feed due to meds). I cried to my husband telling him how much I hated it, and how I didn't want to do it, and I was so scared he would think I was a bad mom. Or think less of me. Or tell me to deal with it and do it. Or just generally not support me in this decision. Luckily, he was 100% on board because he realized that formula was what was best for us, and hey, he got to feed the baby now too!
Even though my husband, and my family supported my decision I still have/had moments where I feel ashamed of formula feeding. I kept it quiet, and tried to hide it from some of my friends because I was worried they would judge me, or think I was a bad mom. We should never be ashamed of making a decision that makes us better parents, even if it's not the right decision for someone else. Breast feeding weeks just reiterates the message to formula feeding parents that we're not good enough.
There is a small movement out there to try to stop the judgement that comes with parenting, and make people realize that just because it was the right decision for you doesn't mean it'll be the right decision for everyone else. Check out http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/. She's trying to turn Breast Feeding Week into "I Support You" week. Moms supporting other moms. Parents supporting other parents. We should be banning together as people who are on this journey together and who are all doing the best we can. We should be celebrating our similarities as people who would lay down our lives for our kids, not furthering the divides between us based on feeding choices.
I completely, 100% support and respect women who breast feed. I firmly believe you should be able to feed your baby however, and wherever you want/need to without judgement. I also understand that "breast is best". I'm not knocking anyone who chooses to breast feed at all. If that's the right choice for you and your family, that's great. Go for it. You do what you gotta do to feed that baby.
That all being said, as a mom who chose to formula feed her children, I find this whole "Breast feeding week" thing insulting,
Having an entire week dedicated to supporting breast feeding moms is great. However, what about those of us who didn't/don't breast feed? Where's our week? Where's our support? Where are the hoards of angry women having "feed-ins" in stores or parks or wherever after someone tells us we're killing our children by feeding them formula? Where are the proud pictures of moms feeding their kids with a bottle on facebook? Where is the recognition that we are good parents too?
Yes, we all know "breast is best", except when it's not. It's not the best for some moms, and I was one of them. This is just another slap in the face on how we're not giving our children the best available option. And to take it even further in some cases - causing our children to grow up being obese morons who are a burden on society. Ridiculous. We shouldn't be ostracized or treated like horrible parents for making a decision based on what is best for us, and our families. Just because we formula feed doesn't mean we don't love our children. In fact, in some cases (like mine) formula feeding allowed us to love our children MORE. Shocking, since the only real way to bond with a baby is to breast feed. Somehow I managed to develop a closeness and a bond with both my boys, even though I formula fed them. In fact, our bond grew stronger once the decision to give up breast feeding was made. Where's my recognition for that? Where's the "You made the best decision for your family" week?
I've seen things online recently offering free products and whatnot to breast feeding moms. Great! Let's help out moms, and families in general. This whole parenting thing is tough, and free stuff is always great. But what about me and my family? Do I get a free feeding pillow? Do you realize that some of us hold and snuggle our babies on a feeding pillow while bottle feeding them? Did you think that all formula feeders just throw a bottle in the crib with the baby and hope for the best? Some of us decided to formula feed BECAUSE we love our babies and want what's best for them, but according to society we're monsters who are slowly poisoning our children by choice, which is ridiculous.
It's insulting to me that an entire week is dedicated to just one aspect of parenting, especially such a divisive one. Parenting is hard. Parenting requires support. Parenting deserves an entire month dedicated to it. It's great that people are recognizing and supporting breast feeding moms, but what about the rest of us? How about a week, or a month to recognize parents in general for loving our kids and doing what we think is best for them? How about recognizing all the formula feeding dads who get up in the middle of the night to pitch in with feedings and then go to work the next day on 3 hours of sleep?
When I first made the decision to stop breast feeding My Little Guy I felt horrible (it was different for My Big Guy - he was formula fed because I was hospitalized right after his birth and couldn't breast feed due to meds). I cried to my husband telling him how much I hated it, and how I didn't want to do it, and I was so scared he would think I was a bad mom. Or think less of me. Or tell me to deal with it and do it. Or just generally not support me in this decision. Luckily, he was 100% on board because he realized that formula was what was best for us, and hey, he got to feed the baby now too!
Even though my husband, and my family supported my decision I still have/had moments where I feel ashamed of formula feeding. I kept it quiet, and tried to hide it from some of my friends because I was worried they would judge me, or think I was a bad mom. We should never be ashamed of making a decision that makes us better parents, even if it's not the right decision for someone else. Breast feeding weeks just reiterates the message to formula feeding parents that we're not good enough.
There is a small movement out there to try to stop the judgement that comes with parenting, and make people realize that just because it was the right decision for you doesn't mean it'll be the right decision for everyone else. Check out http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/. She's trying to turn Breast Feeding Week into "I Support You" week. Moms supporting other moms. Parents supporting other parents. We should be banning together as people who are on this journey together and who are all doing the best we can. We should be celebrating our similarities as people who would lay down our lives for our kids, not furthering the divides between us based on feeding choices.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Pool Snark
It's summer. We've been very busy enjoying the weather and spending all our time outside. Here in Chicagoland we need to take advantage of every warm, sunny day before the dreaded winter sets in (cue "Winter is coming" comments). Throw in a major career change for my husband that means he's been traveling like crazy and blogging has taken a backseat to life.
That doesn't mean that the snarkiness has stopped. Oh no, it's still on in full force.
Let's tackle one of summer's favorite places - the community pool.
Our pool is great for my boys because it has a fantastic kiddie pool that is completely gated off and enclosed. I can let My Big Guy roam around and not worry about him running off and jumping into the deep end of the real pool (he's a little fishy and loves jumping in and swimming by himself). The kiddie pool only gets about 2 feet deep so he's able to explore the place on his own and I don't worry about him drowning. There's a slide, and a sand area for the kids to have fun in too. And they welcome pool toys which is great.
What's not so great is that they enforce "Safety Breaks" (in my day it was "Adult Swim") every hour, even in the kiddie pool. Have you tried to tell an almost 3 year old and a 16 month old that they can't go in the pool that's right in front of them because of some stupid rule? It involves a lot of tears and yelling. Frankly, I hate doing it too because I think it's stupid. I hate having to tell my kids that because of some rule I don't believe in they can't do something they want to do. If I wasn't concerned about being banned from the pool for blatantly ignoring their rules I'd just let them play any way. I get that kids need to take a break from swimming every now and then to rehydrate and make sure they're not getting too tired but is that really necessary in an area where most parents are not letting their kids out of arms reach? I am capable of deciding when my kids need a break, I don't need you random teenage lifeguard telling me when they do.
Now that we've addressed the pool in general, let's discuss other parents...
I know that the pool can be a scary place for parents. I'm sure fear of your kid drowning is very powerful but that doesn't mean you have to ruin the pool experience for your kid. Most kids at our pool are wearing a hat, a swim shirt, some sort of flotation device, and a bathing suit. Oh, and enough sun screen that their faces are glowing white. I'm all for safety, don't get me wrong, but I think there's a limit. The pool is 2 feet deep. If your kid is like, 3.5 feet tall does he really need to be wearing floaties on his arms? Do you really need to be within 6 inches of him at all times? How's he ever going to feel confident in the water with you constantly telling him to be careful and not be more than an arm's length away from you? I get that smaller kids need to be supervised more, I follow My Little Guy around the pool the whole time. But he's only 16 months old and when the pool does get to that 2 feet depth it's pretty deep for him. But I let him wander further than 6 inches from me. And if he falls in the pool I don't have a complete freak out, I just calmly help him up and tell him it's just water on his face and we move on with our lives. I've seen other parents scream and take their kid out of the pool when they trip and fall. It's water. They'll live.
And then there's the sun fear. Personally, I do not slather my children in sunscreen. I know, I'm the worst mom ever and I should be carted off to prison right now. My kids wear swim shirts and swim trunks with 50 spf built in. That's good enough for me. If they get a little pink on their faces, or on their arms and legs I'm ok with it. I think the sun is good for them. I know I feel better after spending some time in the sun, and I want them to enjoy it too. Of course this all has its limits - when we head off to Cali next month and the sun is way more intense I'll throw some sunscreen on them as we spend hours and hours in our pool. But for 1.5 hours at the community pool I don't bother. They don't wear hats either. They hate them. There are some battles that just aren't worth fighting and I refuse to be that parent following their kid around as they scream and remove the hat that you keep attempting to keep on their head. If my kids get a little sun burnt they'll live.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the mom that was so hands off that even I was appalled by her behavior. Her son looked to be about the same age as My Little Guy and she was just reclining on a lawn chair, not even watching him in the pool. As I'm sure you're aware, I'm all for Free Ranging it when it comes to my kid, but I'm not about to let my 16 month old wander a pool alone. This poor kid was trying to get up to the slide, and go down and there was no one to catch him cause his mom was too busy working on her tan. He did make it into the deeper section of the pool and had a hard time. If you want to take your kids to the pool you gotta be responsible for them. There's a time and place for Free Ranging and a 16 month old in a pool is not it.
That doesn't mean that the snarkiness has stopped. Oh no, it's still on in full force.
Let's tackle one of summer's favorite places - the community pool.
Our pool is great for my boys because it has a fantastic kiddie pool that is completely gated off and enclosed. I can let My Big Guy roam around and not worry about him running off and jumping into the deep end of the real pool (he's a little fishy and loves jumping in and swimming by himself). The kiddie pool only gets about 2 feet deep so he's able to explore the place on his own and I don't worry about him drowning. There's a slide, and a sand area for the kids to have fun in too. And they welcome pool toys which is great.
What's not so great is that they enforce "Safety Breaks" (in my day it was "Adult Swim") every hour, even in the kiddie pool. Have you tried to tell an almost 3 year old and a 16 month old that they can't go in the pool that's right in front of them because of some stupid rule? It involves a lot of tears and yelling. Frankly, I hate doing it too because I think it's stupid. I hate having to tell my kids that because of some rule I don't believe in they can't do something they want to do. If I wasn't concerned about being banned from the pool for blatantly ignoring their rules I'd just let them play any way. I get that kids need to take a break from swimming every now and then to rehydrate and make sure they're not getting too tired but is that really necessary in an area where most parents are not letting their kids out of arms reach? I am capable of deciding when my kids need a break, I don't need you random teenage lifeguard telling me when they do.
Now that we've addressed the pool in general, let's discuss other parents...
I know that the pool can be a scary place for parents. I'm sure fear of your kid drowning is very powerful but that doesn't mean you have to ruin the pool experience for your kid. Most kids at our pool are wearing a hat, a swim shirt, some sort of flotation device, and a bathing suit. Oh, and enough sun screen that their faces are glowing white. I'm all for safety, don't get me wrong, but I think there's a limit. The pool is 2 feet deep. If your kid is like, 3.5 feet tall does he really need to be wearing floaties on his arms? Do you really need to be within 6 inches of him at all times? How's he ever going to feel confident in the water with you constantly telling him to be careful and not be more than an arm's length away from you? I get that smaller kids need to be supervised more, I follow My Little Guy around the pool the whole time. But he's only 16 months old and when the pool does get to that 2 feet depth it's pretty deep for him. But I let him wander further than 6 inches from me. And if he falls in the pool I don't have a complete freak out, I just calmly help him up and tell him it's just water on his face and we move on with our lives. I've seen other parents scream and take their kid out of the pool when they trip and fall. It's water. They'll live.
And then there's the sun fear. Personally, I do not slather my children in sunscreen. I know, I'm the worst mom ever and I should be carted off to prison right now. My kids wear swim shirts and swim trunks with 50 spf built in. That's good enough for me. If they get a little pink on their faces, or on their arms and legs I'm ok with it. I think the sun is good for them. I know I feel better after spending some time in the sun, and I want them to enjoy it too. Of course this all has its limits - when we head off to Cali next month and the sun is way more intense I'll throw some sunscreen on them as we spend hours and hours in our pool. But for 1.5 hours at the community pool I don't bother. They don't wear hats either. They hate them. There are some battles that just aren't worth fighting and I refuse to be that parent following their kid around as they scream and remove the hat that you keep attempting to keep on their head. If my kids get a little sun burnt they'll live.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the mom that was so hands off that even I was appalled by her behavior. Her son looked to be about the same age as My Little Guy and she was just reclining on a lawn chair, not even watching him in the pool. As I'm sure you're aware, I'm all for Free Ranging it when it comes to my kid, but I'm not about to let my 16 month old wander a pool alone. This poor kid was trying to get up to the slide, and go down and there was no one to catch him cause his mom was too busy working on her tan. He did make it into the deeper section of the pool and had a hard time. If you want to take your kids to the pool you gotta be responsible for them. There's a time and place for Free Ranging and a 16 month old in a pool is not it.
Monday, June 24, 2013
It Takes a Village?
Who's word would you trust more - your 2.5 year old's or the neighbor's?
About a week ago we were all home on a Saturday afternoon. My Little Guy and I were hanging out in the family room while my husband and My Big Guy were playing in the basement and backyard (we have a walk out basement). Now, My Big Guy is a really good kid. He knows his boundaries and knows where he can and can't go when he's outside (stay on the sidewalk/driveway, no going past certain landmarks). My husband had to take a work phone call and let My Big Guy go outside to the backyard on his own.
We live on the corner, and the way our house is laid out the only real way to get to the driveway from the backyard is to walk along the sidewalk in front of our house. No big deal for My Big Guy, this is something he routinely does, and he often does it fairly unsupervised while I'm doing something with My Little Guy in either the backyard or on the driveway.
While my husband is on his work call, and My Big Guy is outside the doorbell rings. It's the neighbor across the street telling me that My Big Guy is outside alone and was playing in the street. The neighbor is horrified and appalled and is looking at me like I'm the worst mother in the world.
Now, let's just back it up for a minute here and give some background on this dude. First of all, he came over while holding a martini. For real. Secondly, this dude threw out a 60 inch plasma TV on our Garbage Amnesty Day because the speakers on the TV didn't work. Um, surround sound? Um, hook it up to any other speakers at all? And lastly, this is douche lord felt the need to yell, "Ah! So you finally felt like decorating huh?" across the street when we were putting up our Christmas decorations a few years ago. I do not have fond feelings towards this man. His wife has also made comments to me about how she watches us play outside all the time. Dude. You have 4 kids, maybe you can find something better to do than watch us play? She's a nosey hugger, the worst kind of person imaginable. We are not fond of this family to say the least.
So I walk from the door to the driveway with this guy after he's decided to save my child from the dangers of the street. There's My Big Guy, playing with a ball in the driveway obeying all the boundaries we've set for him. Rather than get into it with the neighbor, I take My Big Guy inside and my husband and I talk to him. We repeatedly ask him if he was playing in the street. He looks shocked that we would ask, and says no every time. He says he wasn't in the street, he was on the sidewalk. He is adamant about it.
My Big Guy has never, ever, not once tried to run into the street. He won't even go past the boundaries we've set for him unless we're with him. For him to be PLAYING in the street would be very out of character for him.
So it comes down to the word of a dude who would show up with a drink in hand, and throw away a perfectly fine TV versus the word of my 2.5 year old. Who would you go with?
We decided to go with our son, and add this to the long list of things we don't particularly like about these neighbors.
About a week ago we were all home on a Saturday afternoon. My Little Guy and I were hanging out in the family room while my husband and My Big Guy were playing in the basement and backyard (we have a walk out basement). Now, My Big Guy is a really good kid. He knows his boundaries and knows where he can and can't go when he's outside (stay on the sidewalk/driveway, no going past certain landmarks). My husband had to take a work phone call and let My Big Guy go outside to the backyard on his own.
We live on the corner, and the way our house is laid out the only real way to get to the driveway from the backyard is to walk along the sidewalk in front of our house. No big deal for My Big Guy, this is something he routinely does, and he often does it fairly unsupervised while I'm doing something with My Little Guy in either the backyard or on the driveway.
While my husband is on his work call, and My Big Guy is outside the doorbell rings. It's the neighbor across the street telling me that My Big Guy is outside alone and was playing in the street. The neighbor is horrified and appalled and is looking at me like I'm the worst mother in the world.
Now, let's just back it up for a minute here and give some background on this dude. First of all, he came over while holding a martini. For real. Secondly, this dude threw out a 60 inch plasma TV on our Garbage Amnesty Day because the speakers on the TV didn't work. Um, surround sound? Um, hook it up to any other speakers at all? And lastly, this is douche lord felt the need to yell, "Ah! So you finally felt like decorating huh?" across the street when we were putting up our Christmas decorations a few years ago. I do not have fond feelings towards this man. His wife has also made comments to me about how she watches us play outside all the time. Dude. You have 4 kids, maybe you can find something better to do than watch us play? She's a nosey hugger, the worst kind of person imaginable. We are not fond of this family to say the least.
So I walk from the door to the driveway with this guy after he's decided to save my child from the dangers of the street. There's My Big Guy, playing with a ball in the driveway obeying all the boundaries we've set for him. Rather than get into it with the neighbor, I take My Big Guy inside and my husband and I talk to him. We repeatedly ask him if he was playing in the street. He looks shocked that we would ask, and says no every time. He says he wasn't in the street, he was on the sidewalk. He is adamant about it.
My Big Guy has never, ever, not once tried to run into the street. He won't even go past the boundaries we've set for him unless we're with him. For him to be PLAYING in the street would be very out of character for him.
So it comes down to the word of a dude who would show up with a drink in hand, and throw away a perfectly fine TV versus the word of my 2.5 year old. Who would you go with?
We decided to go with our son, and add this to the long list of things we don't particularly like about these neighbors.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
A Lesson in Stroller Etiquette
So we just returned from a lovely trip to the zoo. The weather was perfect and so the zoo was pretty crowded. We were rocking our double stroller, and just about every other family there was using some kind of stroller/wagon as well.
People. Apparently we need go over some basic stroller/wagon etiquette since it was chaos at the zoo.
1) This is America. We walk on the right. Not the middle, not the left, the right.
2) Push your stroller like you're driving a car on the highway - if you're slow, stay further to the right to allow those faster than you to pass you on the left. If you are going to pass, do so on the left.
3) The zoo paths are wide, but not that wide. Again, treat them like a highway - a 4 lane highway. Do not walk 5 people wide, do not take up the entire width of the path, and do not give people who are trying to wade through your group of 13 walking 7 wide dirty looks. It is YOU who is the problem.
4) If you need to stop PULL OVER. The middle of the path is not the place to be preparing a bottle/snack/, tying shoes, changing diapers, or dicking around on your phone. There are few things more annoying than the abrupt stop when traffic is flowing nicely around you.
5) There is ample stroller parking available at the entrances to the indoor exhibits - use it. There is a reason that stroller parking is made available. There is limited space inside these places and your super wide double jogging stroller is taking up half of it.
6) Your kid wants to see an animal? Great! Take him/her OUT of the stroller. Don't push your stroller right up to the fence, now you're blocking the entire thing for the rest of us. If you can't handle your kid not in the stroller maybe you shouldn't be out in public with him/her.
7) If you need to turn around, for the love of God, please check your surroundings. My Big Guy almost got run over when some mom decided to make a sudden about face with her stroller. It's the damn zoo people, there are kids EVERYWHERE, look around before you make sudden movements.
8) It's a stroller/wagon, not a damn RV. Your kid will be fine without an shady umbrella, a cooler, a cup holder, one of those toy things stretched across the front, and an iPad. You are at the zoo! See some animals! Your kids isn't entertained by the animals? Maybe you should have stayed home.
If nothing else, please just remember #2 and the rest will fall into place. Unless you suck at driving too, in which case you're basically just screwed.
People. Apparently we need go over some basic stroller/wagon etiquette since it was chaos at the zoo.
1) This is America. We walk on the right. Not the middle, not the left, the right.
2) Push your stroller like you're driving a car on the highway - if you're slow, stay further to the right to allow those faster than you to pass you on the left. If you are going to pass, do so on the left.
3) The zoo paths are wide, but not that wide. Again, treat them like a highway - a 4 lane highway. Do not walk 5 people wide, do not take up the entire width of the path, and do not give people who are trying to wade through your group of 13 walking 7 wide dirty looks. It is YOU who is the problem.
4) If you need to stop PULL OVER. The middle of the path is not the place to be preparing a bottle/snack/, tying shoes, changing diapers, or dicking around on your phone. There are few things more annoying than the abrupt stop when traffic is flowing nicely around you.
5) There is ample stroller parking available at the entrances to the indoor exhibits - use it. There is a reason that stroller parking is made available. There is limited space inside these places and your super wide double jogging stroller is taking up half of it.
6) Your kid wants to see an animal? Great! Take him/her OUT of the stroller. Don't push your stroller right up to the fence, now you're blocking the entire thing for the rest of us. If you can't handle your kid not in the stroller maybe you shouldn't be out in public with him/her.
7) If you need to turn around, for the love of God, please check your surroundings. My Big Guy almost got run over when some mom decided to make a sudden about face with her stroller. It's the damn zoo people, there are kids EVERYWHERE, look around before you make sudden movements.
8) It's a stroller/wagon, not a damn RV. Your kid will be fine without an shady umbrella, a cooler, a cup holder, one of those toy things stretched across the front, and an iPad. You are at the zoo! See some animals! Your kids isn't entertained by the animals? Maybe you should have stayed home.
If nothing else, please just remember #2 and the rest will fall into place. Unless you suck at driving too, in which case you're basically just screwed.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
More like prison...
We are in the midst of looking for a preschool for My Big Guy. Unfortunately he has one of those "past the cutoff" birthdays so he's not eligible for most programs at 2.5. We want to get him something for socialization and to help work on his speech (he's a bit speech delayed and working with a speech therapist to get him up to speed). Turns out, this is a harder task than we originally thought.
We did some online research and discovered a highly rated preschool in our area. It's one of a larger chain, but had great reviews and was spoken of highly by people. After speaking to the owner/director we decided to go in for a tour. We were very excited that this might be great for My Big Guy and us. We were gravely disappointed.
The school felt more like a prison than a school. I understand safety protocols, especially when involving children - but only to a certain extent, then common sense should take over.
When we were at the school, a child's grandfather came to pick him up. You would have thought there was a hostile invasion occurring. The hoops this man had to jump through were astounding. I felt terrible for him, and for his family.
The doors were all locked at all times. The kids were basically confined to their one age group in their one age room and that's it. The teachers were hovering over the kids at all times, no one was left to play on their own.
They were allowed to go outside to a completely covered, completely rubber "playground" specifically for their age groups. For our son, this meant a "playground" that would have bored My Little Guy. The Fischer Price castle we have in our house has a bigger slide than this thing did. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, was elevated off the ground. The entire thing was shaded, so that the precious little children might not get a slight sunburn. The ground was rubber, so that they wouldn't have to experience the awfulness of mulch or dirt on their little hands, and so that if they were to somehow fall from, well, nothing, their falls would be broken softly. I didn't realize our children were more fragile than a Faberge Egg.
The entire time we were at this prison, I mean school, we saw no one smiling. None of the teachers, none of the kids, no one. It was cold, sterile and felt awful. I know what the school was going for was "clean and safe" but it was so bad we couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Lucky for us we found somewhere else. It's not a chain, it's older, and it encourages kids to play, get messy and have fun - on their own. The kids all play together and aren't segregated by age while on the wooden playground. They play on the many different sized slides, and enjoy the warm sunshine on them. There's mulch and bugs and dirt and the teachers help them play in it and discover what that feels like and learn more about it and get messy. They eat lunch and snacks outside. We're bringing My Big Guy back there to see if he likes it (and we're hoping he does!) and then we're signing him up.
It makes me scared for when he has to start real school. How hard is that process going to be for us? I want him to go to school, not prison.
We did some online research and discovered a highly rated preschool in our area. It's one of a larger chain, but had great reviews and was spoken of highly by people. After speaking to the owner/director we decided to go in for a tour. We were very excited that this might be great for My Big Guy and us. We were gravely disappointed.
The school felt more like a prison than a school. I understand safety protocols, especially when involving children - but only to a certain extent, then common sense should take over.
When we were at the school, a child's grandfather came to pick him up. You would have thought there was a hostile invasion occurring. The hoops this man had to jump through were astounding. I felt terrible for him, and for his family.
The doors were all locked at all times. The kids were basically confined to their one age group in their one age room and that's it. The teachers were hovering over the kids at all times, no one was left to play on their own.
They were allowed to go outside to a completely covered, completely rubber "playground" specifically for their age groups. For our son, this meant a "playground" that would have bored My Little Guy. The Fischer Price castle we have in our house has a bigger slide than this thing did. Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, was elevated off the ground. The entire thing was shaded, so that the precious little children might not get a slight sunburn. The ground was rubber, so that they wouldn't have to experience the awfulness of mulch or dirt on their little hands, and so that if they were to somehow fall from, well, nothing, their falls would be broken softly. I didn't realize our children were more fragile than a Faberge Egg.
The entire time we were at this prison, I mean school, we saw no one smiling. None of the teachers, none of the kids, no one. It was cold, sterile and felt awful. I know what the school was going for was "clean and safe" but it was so bad we couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Lucky for us we found somewhere else. It's not a chain, it's older, and it encourages kids to play, get messy and have fun - on their own. The kids all play together and aren't segregated by age while on the wooden playground. They play on the many different sized slides, and enjoy the warm sunshine on them. There's mulch and bugs and dirt and the teachers help them play in it and discover what that feels like and learn more about it and get messy. They eat lunch and snacks outside. We're bringing My Big Guy back there to see if he likes it (and we're hoping he does!) and then we're signing him up.
It makes me scared for when he has to start real school. How hard is that process going to be for us? I want him to go to school, not prison.
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