A Lesson in Stroller Etiquette

So we just returned from a lovely trip to the zoo.  The weather was perfect and so the zoo was pretty crowded.  We were rocking our double stroller, and just about every other family there was using some kind of stroller/wagon as well.

People.  Apparently we need go over some basic stroller/wagon etiquette since it was chaos at the zoo.

1) This is America.  We walk on the right.  Not the middle, not the left, the right.

2)  Push your stroller like you're driving a car on the highway - if you're slow, stay further to the right to allow those faster than you to pass you on the left.  If you are going to pass, do so on the left.

3) The zoo paths are wide, but not that wide.  Again, treat them like a highway - a 4 lane highway.  Do not walk 5 people wide, do not take up the entire width of the path, and do not give people who are trying to wade through your group of 13 walking 7 wide dirty looks.  It is YOU who is the problem.

4) If you need to stop PULL OVER.  The middle of the path is not the place to be preparing a bottle/snack/, tying shoes, changing diapers, or dicking around on your phone.  There are few things more annoying than the abrupt stop when traffic is flowing nicely around you.

5)  There is ample stroller parking available at the entrances to the indoor exhibits - use it.  There is a reason that stroller parking is made available.  There is limited space inside these places and your super wide double jogging stroller is taking up half of it.

6)  Your kid wants to see an animal? Great!  Take him/her OUT of the stroller.  Don't push your stroller right up to the fence, now you're blocking the entire thing for the rest of us.  If you can't handle your kid not in the stroller maybe you shouldn't be out in public with him/her.

7)  If you need to turn around, for the love of God, please check your surroundings.  My Big Guy almost got run over when some mom decided to make a sudden about face with her stroller.  It's the damn zoo people, there are kids EVERYWHERE, look around before you make sudden movements.

8)  It's a stroller/wagon, not a damn RV.  Your kid will be fine without an shady umbrella, a cooler, a cup holder, one of those toy things stretched across the front, and an iPad.  You are at the zoo!  See some animals!  Your kids isn't entertained by the animals?  Maybe you should have stayed home.

If nothing else, please just remember #2 and the rest will fall into place.  Unless you suck at driving too, in which case you're basically just screwed.